Mating, Dating, Relating, Medicating

Archive for the ‘Where I Come From’ Category

Jan 25

Even More Disjointed Than Usual

I have so much job drama going on. So, so much. It’s all I think about, dream about, wake up fretting about. I am not good with uncertainty. Nor change, as it happens. Unforttunately, in this case, the status quo isn’t really doing it for me either. ********************** School started this week. I like the […]

Jan 20

Wise and Sober Children

Obviously, I read every book, including Farmer Boy. Only poseurs skipped that one. I coveted every detail–bonnets and petticoats and tin plates and Ma’s china shepherdess. Remember when they got to taste oysters that had been brought out west on a train? I’d still like to try parched corn, which the girls got three pieces […]

Dec 19

I Swear to God This Just Happened

Me: You do not need liposuction. That’s INSANE. I thought you were kidding about this. Anonymous very thin male friend: No, I’m totally serious. I have a date planned for the procedure and everything. Me: I can’t talk to you about this unless you want to hear what I really think, and you’re not going to […]

Dec 11

Kids Say The Damnedest Things

I am visiting with my four-year-old cousin, Paige. She is a sunny child, with skin like cream and hair of such a pale red hue that it’s actually pink. She used to have blue eyes, and then last year they suddenly and definitively turned to smoky grey. Now her whole palette is muted, like a […]

Nov 07

We Tripped Lightly Along the Ledge

It’s a cider kind of night, just chilly enough for a big soft scarf and boots. I took the dog out for a walk. My neighborhood is gorgeous, full of big old houses with warmly lit windows, perfect for checking out other people’s paint colors while scuffing through the leaves that drift over the sidewalks. […]

Nov 01

If I Knew Then What I Know Now

I’ve told you most of this before–I’m from a working class family, no one cared what I did in high school, I was the first in my family to go to college, we were utterly clueless about how all of that stuff worked, standardized test scores changed the course of my life, I got into a […]

Oct 26

Family Photos: Bershon Edition

This is me, circa 1987, at a winery on Put-in-Bay, Lake Erie, with my family. All the cool 12-year-olds were there*. In fanny packs and neon, just like me. Frequently Asked Questions About This Photo Q: Were you really only 12 here, Lolita? I was a very early bloomer, as the training bra I was […]

Oct 16

If Wishes Were Fishes

I had dinner last week with my roommate from freshman year, who I haven’t seen, or really been in touch with at all, in years.  I idolized her when we lived together, and thought she was the most worldly and dazzling person I’d ever met–which, I guess, she was.  I can’t remember  exactly why we […]

Sep 15

Oddly Enough

This week, my mom is traveling out west. Tuesday night, she was sitting at a restaurant in West Yellowstone, Montana when her cousin walked in. Her cousin who lives in San Diego. He was traveling with his dad (her uncle) and they were staying next door.  If she’d been sitting in another part of the restaurant, she […]

Sep 13

Confessions of a Name Nerd and Poor Fashion Choices from My Youth

As a word-nerdy book-obsessed child, I started collecting possible handles for my Hypothetical Future Children early. I had a list. I had some boy names sprinkled in, but girl names were much more fun. Looking back at my choices, I’m really glad I didn’t become a teenage mother, because I would have given my daughter […]