Mating, Dating, Relating, Medicating

Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

May 06
2012

Snarky Tiramisu Rage

You really get me Mostly, I’m posting today just to tell you to go read Boniverotica right away. (It’s not actually erotica. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.)  I can’t quite express how much I love it, nor quite how close to the bone it hits me. It makes me uncomfortable like Stuff White [...]


Apr 29
2012

Anatomy of a Trip to Whole Foods

June 2011 I admit to myself that I am powerless over pyramids of overpriced, pretentious produce, and also that I am a cook only in my head, not in real life, which is where all of the food I buy rots away. I swear off Whole Foods forever. Friday, March 16, 2012 (end of second [...]


Apr 16
2012

How To Effectively Communicate With Me

1. Start your sentence with “Look.” Make sure I can really hear the period at the end.  It makes the muscles in my neck clench, so I can hold my head up and make meaningful eye contact with you, and eye contact creates trust and intimacy. 2. “Listen” or “Now you listen” are also good [...]


Apr 10
2012

37 Things I Know At 37

The 411 from the 4/11 one. Where you come from shapes where you end up, one way or another. Better living through chemistry is not only possible, but transformational. Living the unexamined life sounds kind of restful sometimes, but who are we kidding. Heartbreak is not fatal. I am lucky that I escaped my bar [...]


Apr 10
2012

Birthday Eve Poem

Wild Geese * Mary Oliver You do not have to be good. You do not have to walk on your knees for a hundred miles through the desert repenting. You only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves. Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine. [...]


Apr 08
2012

Flashback to My 30th Birthday

I wrote this then. Good to see that I have experienced a lot of personal growth in the intervening seven years. Apparently my whole life is groundhog day. You can look forward to increasingly morose/falsely cheerful posts all week since I turn 37 on Wednesday!   I woke up early every day in Costa Rica.  [...]


Apr 07
2012

Stir-Crazy Self-Aware Saturday

Celebrities to whom I am theoretically attracted (in no particular order except for Marky Mark being  number one) 1. Mark Wahlberg (Even sunlight loves him) 2. Colin Farrell (Have I ever told you that I have a full-on fetish for Irishmen?) 3. Robert Downey, Jr. (I would keep him together with my love. Also, that vein in [...]


Mar 20
2012

Adult Education: A Primer

So, you didn’t graduate from college. (Why is that, anyway? Were you dumb? Poor? Lazy? Mentally ill? Inconsistent with birth control? A Phish fan who couldn’t resist the lure of the tour?) Well, whatever the reason, now that you’re a few years down the road, you realize that you may have really screwed the pooch [...]


Feb 28
2012

It’s Actually Not That Great to See a Bunch of Firemen Together

My first day at work was good, but incredibly overwhelming and stressful. I was there until nearly seven, and went to bed at ten. …And woke up a little after two, to the sound of running feet and crackling walkie talkies and orange flames outside my window and a terrible smell in my room. I [...]


Feb 16
2012

A Story Where “A Bird in the Hand” Is Literal and Some Amazing Links

Guest post today at Reading and Chickens! As an addendum, my aunt did finally send the picture of me holding the chickens with a look of absolute horror on my face, but MAN I looked like shit that day, so I’m not posting it. The video is way better anyway, and representative. Also for your [...]