Mating, Dating, Relating, Medicating

Archive for the ‘Lieu’ Category

Apr 08
2012

What Up With The Mindreading, PostSecret?

My friends always work their way around to asking me if I’m dating–and no, I’m not. I feel like I should be but the effort it would take to do so is laughably beyond my current capacity.  Plus, as I only selectively admit in real life, I’m not quite ready. Em asked me yesterday, as […]


Feb 22
2012

Wherever You Go

I used to love to watch him drive. Something about handing over the keys to my Jeep and settling in to the passenger seat, the chance to study his profile unabashedly, made me  deeply, profoundly content. I dove into those moments when they came, absorbing their flavor and texture, memorizing every contour, because I knew […]


Nov 03
2011

Pluck It Out

It’s funny that I just talked about this in therapy on Monday. I know there’s one more smack coming, when he unfriends me on Facebook, I told her. Anything I ever say that ties my emotional well-being to free social media platforms makes me want to kick myself in the face, but there you have […]


Oct 20
2011

Dating

I read a post this morning that reminded me painfully of everything I hate about dating. It’s been just over two months since the break-up, and I feel absolutely cold when I think about going out with someone new. I’ve been browsing profiles for a couple of weeks, and I haven’t seen anyone who tripped […]


Sep 05
2011

Epilogue

  Don’t worry. This is not a story about reconciliation. It was the day of the earthquake. I texted him before I was even out of my swaying building, emailed back and forth during my whole terrible three hour drive home, and kissed him like it was the end times when he showed up at […]


Aug 18
2011

Thoughts on Loneliness

I don’t think it was loneliness that spurred me to start dating again in 2009. I think it was hopefulness (and horniness.)  My life was in a bit of a flux, as I was just coming out of a period of working maniacally around the clock and every weekend for a couple of years, and […]


Aug 03
2011

Always Listen To Your Heart. Except When It Lies.

Today is hard, for some reason.  Nothing I do distracts me from the brick of sadness that sits in my stomach, interfering with the important work of my diaphragm.  I keep catching myself taking deep, almost gasping breaths. Like that is going to change anything. It’s a very first-world problem, I know.  I feel a […]


Jul 31
2011

Inventory

(If this is your first visit, check out Best in Show for some posts that are both more and less depressing. ) 1 pair of men’s plaid pajama bottoms 1 grey t-shirt 1 book about Rosalind Franklin 1 electric guitar tuner 1,200 conversations auto-archived by Gmail 1 razor 1 tub of the kind of ice cream he […]


Jul 25
2011

Commisery Loves Company

Having cried already today in bed, in the shower, in my car, and in my office, I submit that there should be more cultural norms surrounding the grief process for breakups.  In other words, I should not have to be here today. I should be at home, and people should be dropping off homemade casseroles […]


Jul 22
2011

The Harder They Fall

Lieu and I broke up tonight.  I am supposed to be writing a paper, due tomorrow morning, but how I’m going to accomplish that when my heart is shattered into a million jagged pieces I don’t know.  My pillow still bears a dent from his head, and the towel he used this morning is hanging […]