Mating, Dating, Relating, Medicating

Dec 11
2012

Christmas crafts completed on the computer

OK! Here is your roundup of Christmas amusements.

First, I made a holiday newsletter generator for single people. I think you will like it. My results are in the comments. Do it do it do it and post yours too. I had this idea last year, but was overcome with laziness before I completed it.

YOUR HOLIDAY NEWSLETTER GENERATOR

Second, please join me in fondly remembering Christmas Cards for Single People and Christmas Cards from Ex-Boyfriends. I was going to do new ones but you know, some things just don’t need improvement. Or I can’t figure out how to improve them because I used to be funnier than I am now. One of those.

Finally, I made real crafts, and I manipulated some friends into helping me.  As you can see, we wound up with quite an assortment of ornaments. (All of mine were boring and badly executed DC flags, similar to the second one below and coming soon to a tree near you if we know each other in real life.)

11 Responses to “Christmas crafts completed on the computer”

  1. Ciara says:

    Dear friends and family,

    Happy, happy Festivus! I hope your holidays are going spectacularly well. It’s been another gnarly year for me. I’m still living in DC, and I love it! I take full advantage of the opportunities to barhopping. Well, as much advantage as I can–work has been ugly, because several of my coworkers were out on maternity leave or honeymoons, so I had a lot of long days and weeks covering –but I feel soft about it! This was my year for learning to really master filing, and OMG!! What a difference. Next year: Excel

    You probably noticed that this letter came tucked into a handmade table–made by yours truly! I’ve made 29 in the past month — and boy are my toes tired. I finally set up my empty second bedroom as a craft space, and it has been really inspiring — a great way to spend my evenings.

    People are always asking me how my romantic life is going. I went on 56 dates last year, and had 8 first kisses (you do the math!) Dating at this age is its own special wall, but you know what they say — better sadness today than anger tomorrow.

    I’m really looking forward to 2013. I hope I have the time to finally multiple orgasms. And we MUST get together for poached eggs after the holidays. I have a juicy story to tell you about something that happened to Lieu that can’t be printed. Suffice to say that it involved an illicit aqua Bey blade, a pot of clam chowder, and several law enforcement agencies — and that I have a line on photos.

    Love, CF

  2. Diary of Why says:

    Instead of barhopping I had drinking, instead of soft I had loud, and I also had filing and table. Eerie?

  3. Kim says:

    “You know what they say — better stressed today than content tomorrow.”

  4. Joy says:

    Dear friends and family,

    Happy, happy Winter Solstice! I hope your holidays are going spectacularly well. It’s been another furry year for me. I’m still living in Alexandria (which is its own damn city. Not *just* a suburb of DC, people), and I love it! I take full advantage of the opportunities to booze. Well, as much advantage as I can–work has been lively, because several of my coworkers were out on maternity leave or honeymoons, so I had a lot of long days and weeks covering –but I feel sad about it! This was my year for learning to really master all the work, and holy moly!! What a difference. Next year: Excel (with the spreadsheets, yanno)

    You probably noticed that this letter came tucked into a handmade ice pick–made by yours truly! I’ve made eleventy-billion in the past month — and boy are my nostrils tired. I finally set up my empty second bedroom as a craft space, and it has been really inspiring — a great way to spend my evenings.

    People are always asking me how my romantic life is going. I went on 3 dates last year, and had 37 first kisses (you do the math!) Dating at this age is its own special cat, but you know what they say — better happy today than Happy! HAPPY! tomorrow.

    I’m really looking forward to 2013. I hope I have the time to finally to not get rape-dead. And we MUST get together for shrimp & grits after the holidays. I have a juicy story to tell you about something that happened to Jason/Peter/Drew/Dave/WhatsHisName/Ryan/JP/Brendon (They’re all the same when they’re gone, right?) that can’t be printed. Suffice to say that it involved an illicit brown rocking horse, a pot of chicken & dumplins, and several law enforcement agencies — and that I have a line on photos.

    Love,
    Joy

  5. Laura G. says:

    an excerpt, which overstates both my first dates and kisses, but which i’m also worried accurately captures my attitude about dating.

    “People are always asking me how my romantic life is going. I went on 4 dates last year, and had 17 first kisses (you do the math!) Dating at this age is its own special pear, but you know what they say — better sadness today than merriment tomorrow. “

  6. rooth says:

    HAHA, this is the most fun I’ve had reading comments in a long time. Your readers are quite hilarious Ciara

  7. I love these so, so much.

  8. Vanessa says:

    Dear friends and family, Happy, happy Christmas! I hope your holidays are going spectacularly well. It’s been another looney year for me. I’m still living in Berlin, and I love it! I take full advantage of the opportunities to petting. Well, as much advantage as I can–work has been hasty, because several of my coworkers were out on maternity leave or honeymoons, so I had a lot of long days and weeks covering –but I feel steamy about it! This was my year for learning to really master chit-chatting, and fuck! What a difference. Next year: Excel You probably noticed that this letter came tucked into a handmade sifter–made by yours truly! I’ve made 18 in the past month — and boy are my hands tired. I finally set up my empty second bedroom as a craft space, and it has been really inspiring — a great way to spend my evenings. People are always asking me how my romantic life is going. I went on 11 dates last year, and had 14 first kisses (you do the math!) Dating at this age is its own special planet, but you know what they say — better happy today than exhalted tomorrow. I’m really looking forward to 2013. I hope I have the time to finally declutter my life. And we MUST get together for salad after the holidays. I have a juicy story to tell you about something that happened to silly people that can’t be printed. Suffice to say that it involved an illicit dark green “toy”, a pot of tofu soup, and several law enforcement agencies — and that I have a line on photos. Love, V.

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