1. Dear authors: Just because you are famous and successful doesn’t mean you don’t need an editor. Editors are your friend, even if they do kill your darlings. Embrace that friendship. Lean into it. Particularly if you write literary mysteries set in Dublin.
2. Someone I know was featured on a 40 under 40 list today, and I spent some time mourning the fact that I will never do that. Then I reminded myself that the people who make those lists work like dogs and claw their way up the ladder and generally wear uncomfortably pointy shoes, and your pal CF…does not. Then I heard a NPR piece on the way home about the 37-year-old mayor of San Antonio who has been tapped to speak at the Democratic National Convention and I got very sad again. Think how awesome my convention speech would be! I would have a humorous PowerPoint running in the background. Obviously.
3. Scene: An elevator in an office building on K Street. Characters: My sister B, her friend K, an unknown woman and an unknown man, traveling separately.
K :(talking about a recent date) I don’t know, he just didn’t ask me ANYTHING. At all. As in, I know everything about him and he might not even know what I do for a living.
B: God, why do men so that? It happens to me on 90% of the first dates I go on. I try to model good behavior by asking questions myself, but they never catch on.
K: I know, and all my friends who are dating say the same thing. I can’t tell if DC is extra full of blowhards or if all men are like that (ed. note: both are correct) but it’s awful.
B: There should be some sort of campaign to make men aware of this issue. It’s costing them tons of ass.
(Unknown man gets off elevator)
Unknown woman: (Breaks well-known rule of acting deaf and blind in elevators. Clutches K’s arm with a wild look in her eye.) I really, really hope you just changed that man’s life.
Of course there are well-mannered men who would never do this. But ask any woman who is dating — those men are a surprisingly rare breed.
For everyone keeping track at home, it has now been over a year since I have been on a date. Holla.
4. No particular reason I’m asking, but...if your eyesight randomly became incredibly blurry, to the point that you could not see your computer screen in the afternoon, and then mysteriously cleared up after 20 minutes or so, would you think you might be dying? Hypothetically.
5. For my mid-Atlantic peeps: Do any of you have suggestions of a place I could go in September(ish) where I could hole up and write for three days without interruption, but not be so remote that I would be (a) terrified of ax murderers; or (b) not able to find a sweet little place to eat lunch or dinner if I got lonely? Only real requirement is that it’s within four hours of DC.
6. August always makes me think of going back to school, and this year in particular it makes me think of how much I HATE being in school. I fiercely, demonically resent every second and every penny I spend on schoolwork. I am learning NOTHING that is of any use to me in my life. If I could just buy a degree, I would gladly whore myself out to pay for it. (I mean, as gladly as one can whore onself out; not really a joyful business, I’d wager.)
7. Related to nothing at all, I’m going to show you some pictures of myself as a child and add witty commentary. Ready?
8. Do we even need an 8, after that?
9. Have any of you read Richard Ford’s newest book, Canada? Should I?
10. Do you read Kate Christensen’s blog? She is living one version of my idea life, and it’s a good combination of life stuff and unfussy food stuff. I love her. Plus she is one of my very favorite authors.
To recap for your commenting pleasure–Authors and editing! 40 under 40! Elevator man! Blurry vision death sentence! Writing retreat suggestions! Back to school! Bershon! Canada! Kate!