1. True or false: I should sing “Fancy” by Reba McEntire at live band karaoke on Wednesday. Did you know that I love karaoke? It’s true. I think saying that on my blog gives me the majority of the characteristics associated with narcissism.
2. Speaking of the DSM, do you think the men at my pharmacy are jealous when I fill prescriptions for my ADD meds and Xanax at the same time? They should be.
3. I just received a mysterious pair of black leather heels in the mail. I am virtually certain that I did not order them. They’re nice, too. Question: Am I living inside the matrix? Because I do need fancy black pumps, and I’ve been looking at many online. But I never looked at these.
4. Did you know that there is an underwater city of gnomes in Britain? I’ve long been obsessed with this idea. ALERT: a gnome appeared on my TV AS I WAS TYPING THIS SENTENCE. WTF matrix?
5. It’s Valentine’s Day and I took myself out for two beers and a chicken sandwich. That may explain the tenor of this post. I also may or may not have listened to that sadgirl Adele album three times today. Honestly, V-Day has never meant much to me one way or the other, until I had a really good one last year. I’m trying hard not to think about that–Except the part where I just linked to a blog post about it–because feeling one’s feelings is quite unhealthy.
6. I have one special talent that makes me unique in the world. Just one, and it’s more of a party trick, really. I used to hate it when people would make me perform my trick during high school, so my skill is largely unknown among my DC friends, but still. It was my special thing. MINE. And now this stupid girl did it and it’s on YouTube, AND she has way better hair than I do.
I am only pretending to be pretending to be upset about this.
7. This might be my favorite tweet ever, from @slashleen during the Grammys:
The only way I could love Adele any more is if she stuffed her Grammys in a pillow case and beat the shit out of Chris Brown.
I know, that was two Adele references, which is many. But I have to tell you, between growing up in the 90s with Whitney and getting my heart smashed to bits during the year of Adele’s ascendancy and availing myself of her music on those days when I was having a hard time crying (oh that is hilarious, I kill me), I knew more about what was going on at the Grammys this year than I have since I was 12. Which is also the last time I watched them, I think.
8. As long as we are being super au courant, here is a link to Whitney Houston singing “How Will I Know” without an instrumental track or back-up singers. It’s her voice only, and it is stunning. (I was going to say I have nothing snarky to say about this situation, but then I also wanted to tell you about this other tweet that I saw: “BREAKING: Kevin Costner failed.” I can’t help it, that shit is funny.)
9. VERY IMPORTANT NEWS: Amid a sudden sickening realization that I had a week off between jobs and no way to fill it except by panicking about upcoming challenges, I booked myself a solo vacation in Key West next week. I’m a little bit jittery that I will be sad and lonely, but better sad and lonely in a bed and breakfast in the Keys than in my wintry DC apartment, right? I’m going snorkeling. And eating shrimp.
10. And finally, via my foster sister at Doin’ the Grownup: