OR GET THE RSS FEED HERE
2011
I Swear to God This Just Happened
Me: You do not need liposuction. That’s INSANE. I thought you were kidding about this.
Anonymous very thin male friend: No, I’m totally serious. I have a date planned for the procedure and everything.
Me: I can’t talk to you about this unless you want to hear what I really think, and you’re not going to like it.
AVTMF: Look, I know you don’t like to hear this, but I’m 31 and I have no biological clock to worry about, but I’m going to say something awful to you now about how hard it is to find someone to settle down with when you are young and hot and gay and are under no time pressure at all and never will be, really. This is the reason I need liposuction. (Ed. note: I’m paraphrasing.)
Me: OK, but if you spend $1500 on useless liposuction, then I’m going to force you to donate the same amount to poor, starving children, because it’s like you’re kicking them in the face when you make this decision.
AVTMF: No way. Starving children don’t need money for liposuction. They’re already skinny.
BAH! I just spit coffee all over my screen.
HA! Also, I would have the same reaction to a skinny person scheduling liposuction. Why?!
I so needed this laugh. Thank you.
Ha. He totally gets points for humor.
Who says no one likes a smart ass? I, for one, LOVE a smartass.
Bawhahah! I totally didn’t see that coming. I appreciate smartasses too.
snicker.
Insanely insane.
This did NOT really happen….did it?! Seriously? I’m laughing…but then also feeling very bad for the starving children. Could he at least send the fat he got sucked out to them?