Updated to add my favorite things from last year:
I am going to be festive if it fucking kills me. I am planing so many holiday activities I don’t want to do, I will not have time to cry into my pillow before falling into bed alone on my mother’s lightly insulated three-season porch. (Me: I think winter is the fourth season in Ohio. Mom: But space heater!)
If you are fighting your inner Grinch like I am, here are a few things to help you on your way. Solidarity, y’all. #OccupyChristmas
1. Hostess gift idea. How cute are these? With a bow? And keep one for yourself.
2. A Christmas Memory by Truman Capote (full text at the link!) I meant to link this at Thanksgiving but forgot. This story is lovely and sad and positively bursting with that sad/happy nostalgia some of us crave like heroin. Listen, I’m an Irish-Catholic depressive. Sometimes I make myself sad on purpose so that I can be happy later. It’s called “CathartiCrying” ™ and you know you want to do it sometimes.
Imagine a morning in late November. A coming of winter morning more than twenty years ago. Consider the kitchen of a spreading old house in a country town. A great black stove is its main feature; but there is also a big round table and a fireplace with two rocking chairs placed in front of it. Just today the fireplace commenced its seasonal roar.
A woman with shorn white hair is standing at the kitchen window. She is wearing tennis shoes and a shapeless gray sweater over a summery calico dress. She is small and sprightly, like a bantam hen; but, due to a long youthful illness, her shoulders are pitifully hunched. Her face is remarkable—not unlike Lincoln’s, craggy like that, and tinted by sun and wind; but it is delicate too, finely boned, and her eyes are sherry-colored and timid. “Oh my,” she exclaims, her breath smoking the windowpane, “it’s fruitcake weather!”
3. Have you watched every episode of Friday Night Lights yet? You really should. ou can stream it on Netflix. I hate football and I’m iffy on Texas but OMG I love this show SO VERY MUCH.
4. Louis v. Rick. You guys know how I feel about cats, but I laughed so hard at this that I got a little headache. A man teaches his cat to IM and hilarity ensues. CAPS LOCK IS HOW I FEEL INSIDE RICK! ALL THE TIME.
5. Navy Sailors “All I Want for Christmas” Lip Dub
Via Jezebel: When the crew of the Royal Navy’s HMS Ocean deployed earlier this year, they expected to be out to sea for seven weeks. But their boat was diverted to Libya and at this point, the ship has been away for for seven months. During this time, graduations and birthdays were missed, fifteen men became fathers and five had to leave the boat to get married. But recently came good news — the crew would be home for Christmas!
6. Finger Monkeys. I spent a lot of time trying to determine if this was real before deciding I don’t really care because OMFG DO YOU SEE THESE TINY MONKEYS
7. Give it away now. 2012 is going to be the year I pull my head out of my ass and start contributing to the world in some meaningful way. Our friend Shalini at Reading and Chickens is hosting an exchange of people who need a little extra holiday help and people who would like to provide that help. You should definitely go over there and pledge a $25 gift card to brighten up another family’s year.
8. For my tribal brethren and sestren. Because I’m mulyi-culti like that.
9. Things I bought with which to decorate cookies because like I said, I am going to be cheerful and elfin if it fucking kills me. And it may. (Not pictured: 12 bottles of Trader Joe’s Vinha Verde that I will consume while frosting. I love that stuff.)
10. Please show or tell me the thing that has given you the most holiday happiness this year. Share the wealth.