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2010
CAR-icature
I felt like T. and I were in agreement that we were both a little too good to be in this situation.
The hyperactive “used car sales manger” leapt about like a deranged gazelle, shouting things like, Are YOU ready to buy TODAY? and This is T’s first day! I want him to make his first sale and I want it to be YOU!
Each time he inveigled me , I replied, Yes, I like the car, and that’s a good price, but this is the first car I’ve looked at and I’m not buying the very first car I look at, no matter what.
This price expires in 30 minutes! he wailed, giving me the double-gun salute so that I understood the gravity of the situation. And it goes UP every 30 minutes after that until we’re back at the starting price! I will NOT give you this price tomorrow! I just smiled and repeated my line. Being around so much metal and testosterone was sapping my strength, and Springfield, VA is the armpit of the DC metro area. The roads there are like an overturned bowl of spaghetti that someone stuck some street signs in, and everyone is sad. At any rate, I was.
But even in my enervated condition, when the spastic douchebag of a manger picked up my phone, threw it at me, and said, Go ahead and call your dad or your boyfriend or whoever you need to call to get the OK and let’s get this done! I decided I’d had enough and left. It may have been the deal of the century, but I do have some self-respect. I know I saw it laying around here somewhere.
So, when I wended my way to Tyson’s Corner through heavy Christmas traffic and tons of construction only to realize upon arrival that those asshats in Springfield had kept my driver’s license (an old sales trick to ensure that you’ll return), I almost went home for the day…but I was just so fucking far from home, and so weary at the thought of finding my way there, that I persevered.
For nothing, as it turns out…more car shopping lies in my future, alas. And to make it worse, while I went out searching for an affordable and reliable sedan, somewhere on Leesburg Pike I accidentally fell deeply in love with a sporty little SUV and I can’t get over it. Something about the idea of buying a used Honda Accord, or even a VW Jetta, makes me feel like I will never have sex again. I KNOW that is impractical. I care so little about cars that I generally don’t even know what make and model the one I’m driving is. But, as I said to Lieu*, I kind of want to have sex with me in a Jeep Liberty so I can only assume that men will feel the same. On the other hand, I kind of want to ask me directions to the PTA meeting when I’m behind the wheel of a Hyundai Sonata. Of course, there is an argument to be made that I’m kind of going to want to tell me to fuck off when I’m getting 20 highway miles per gallon in a Jeep instead of 32 in a Civic for 240 roundtrip miles every week between DC and Philly. I know this, but I have somehow become emotionally (and perhaps romantically) invested in this decision. Oops.
So the saga continues. And yes, after nine solo hours of car shopping on Saturday, I took Lieu up on his offer to accompany me on Sunday. I was a desperate shell of a woman, but I still should have said no. I know this. I should have test-driven that Camry too, I know. But I rarely do what I should, even though (as I also said to Lieu, when my final bid on my dream Jeep was turned down) I NEVER get anything I want. At least, sitting there next to him and getting ready to climb back into my piece-of-shit car for the journey home, that’s how it felt.
Jeep WRANGLER.
Actually … maybe not. Buy one of those and I’d more interested in the Jeep
Oh sugar … You don’t need a boy to go car shopping with you… You need a pushup bra… If the jeep dealer doesn’t call you by the end of the week …. I’ll take you car shopping …. xoxo
Oh Lord, if a car dude said to me, “Go ahead and call your dad or your boyfriend or whoever you need to call to get the OK and let’s get this done!”? I would have wanted to clock him right in the face. Seriously — when did 1956 walk back through the door? Loser.
I had a nasty experience with a car dealership owner yesterday — and I wasn’t even buying a car. They’re not high on my list of Awesome People With Whom I Enjoy Doing Business. Sending good vibes your way!
I would totally get a Jeep Wrangler is they weren’t so…breezy.
Suicide Blond, I just might have to take you up on that!
Thanks, Meg!
Now I am in the process of trying to find something practical to fall in love with. It’s not working.
Fuck Lieu. That’s right, I said it. I think I’ll say it again. Fuck Lieu. What you need is a lesbian. Or a pushup bra (exactly) and ask to look under the hood. All you need to do is make sure that everything is dry. no leaks. take your time looking under the hood, ignore everything else they say, and get your sexy, practical ride. You can do this. Oh, and please- the snow- I can’t.
I had a Jeep Grand Cherokee for 5 years and friggin loved it. When I traded it in for the more gas efficient, greener, cheaper brand new Toyota Corolla 3 years ago I missed that Jeep every single day. You don’t have a husband or children. Its just you. Live a little. I traded that Toyota Corolla in recently for a much less green, significantly more expensive convertible with 145,000 miles on it. Best decision I ever made. Cheers, T. http://www.themarathonsmistress.blogspot.com
A friend of mine has a blog about women and cars- she has specific posts about tips for women who are looking to buy. I’m sure if you emailed her she’d be happy to offer more suggestions!
check it out:
http://becarchic.blogspot.com/search?updated-min=2009-01-01T00:00:00-05:00&updated-max=2010-01-01T00:00:00-05:00&max-results=6
Hey honey, no matter what you do be sure you take the car to a well respected mechanic in the area before you buy it (Yelp is an awesome resource for this, or if you go to Leesburg I know an amazing shop I’d consign my first born to out in that direction) . You can look under the hood all you want, but dealers go out of their way to make it look nice, clean up the leaks etc.. you need to have that bad boy up on a lift to get the real deal. As someone who just went through a pretty traumatic used car buying experince (I was in LOVE with a red solara, but upon getting it to a shop they took one look under the car and pretty much showed me what a sack of crap it was) the most important thing you can do to protect yourself and your investment is to spend the 80 bucks to have a non-partial 3rd party take a look at it. Most dealerships, if they aren’t just trying to out and out scam you, will give you time to take the car for a few hours and have a pre-purchase inspection done.
Also be sure to test drive the car for a MIN of 20 minutes. Found out the hard way a lot of shady type dealer will pull battery/fuses to make your check engine or main’t required lights on the dash go out. They won’t reset often times until the car has been warmed up and driven sufficently…
as a side note, i did buy a used honda accord AND went home and had sex that very night *wink*. I had a bad experience buying a used Jeep and having to plop 3k worth of new transmission in that bad boy less than a month later.. so our relationship as woman and brand is broken…
Best of luck!!!
Thank you for the great advice–I wish I’d seen it before I bought the stupid Jeep, which is now in the shop less than 24 hours later. Of COURSE I should have had a mechanic look at it–can’t believe I didn’t think of that. Would have saved me a lot of irritation.
Hope the Jeep is running smoothly after your trip to the mechanic! Car buying and maintenance are two of my least favorite things, but I still would have shot that dealership manager a look of pure evil!